RACHAEL'S HOT, LEAH'S NOT
The Madonna - Whore Complex. An anology: "Rachael you have sex with...Leah makes a wonderful mother for you and your children."
Madonna - Whore Complex Defined:
Feudian psychololy points to a complex which often develops when the sufferer was raised by a cold and distant mother. The male sufferer will court women with attributes and qualites of his mother, in hopes of fulfilling. " lost unmet childhood intimacy needs." Upon marrying, the wife is seen as "mother" to her husband, a "Madonna" figure, and not a person of sexual attraction. Within the mind of the sufferer, the duality of love and sex cannot be met. As he views such attraction as having "incestual" roots. Therefore, he reserves his sexuality for women who are considered "whores." This interplay from within the mind of the sufferer, leaves him unable to love women who satisfy him sexually, and unable to be sexually satisfied by any woman they can love.
By Synthia Esther
Synthia Esther Reports...
The first meeting I attended for spouses of sex addicts consisted of about 100 women, not including the leader and group support team staff. Within this group, a psychological personality profile test was administered by a representative of a Doctors group of counseling psychologists. After which, we learned of the results. Out of about 100 women or more, only "3" scored differently. I was one of the three, which according to the profile test, meant I wasn't co-dependent. This part I already knew. What I found most intriguing, was that my best friend within this group of women was also one of the "3" non-co-dependent women too.
I don't think so...as we seem to bond with those whom we trust and find like personality and compatibility. Which is another subject in and of itself. Suffice to say, I think this fact is why I have been strong enough to handle the ministry God has called me to proclaim. Reaching out to sex addicts, co-dependents, and those within the sex industry is not an easy task. For they are in bondage to their addictions. And bondage is a stronghold on one's very soul (mind, will, and emotions).
THE INTAKE GROUP
At the intake group (beginners on the healing journey), I felt like I had walked into a funeral or a wake, the grief was so permeating. I related to their pain and suffering as I too felt the shock and disdain of betrayal and deception after finding out my "ex," lead a secret, sex addicted double life. Ryan (not his real name), was an Iraq war hero pilot by day, and a sex addict by night.
The women were wives of preachers, youth ministers, choir leaders, business men, and professionals. There were also wives of school teachers, salesmen, blue collar workers, and computer geeks. It seemed sex addicts fit every description imaginable and so did their wives. Some were stay at home moms, career professionals, or in the ministry. The one thing we all had in common was grief and a life filled with chaos and confusion, due to a partner who was a die-hard (no pun intended) sex addict.
My heart went out to these women as they reminded me of the story of Rachel and Leah in the Bible (Genesis chapters 29 to 35). As a child my mother had been my Sunday school teacher in church. As I graduated in age to another class, she graduated with me, remaining my teacher. I remember well the story as my Mother related it.
Leah who was the eldest is described as tender eyed, with Rachel being both younger and more beautiful. Yet when most people speak of the story it is retold as the "Rachel and Leah" story, always placing Rachel first. In 21st Century vernacular, Rachel was hot, and Leah was not. Such is the importance of looks among humanity. As the story goes, Jacob fell in love with Rachel's beauty working seven years for her hand in marriage, which only seemed like a few days he was so infatuated with her beauty (Genesis 29:20). After his seven years of dedicated hard work he boldly declares, "My time is completed and I want to lie with her" - (Genesis 29:21).
Jacob was then tricked on his marriage bed, having wed and had sex with tender eyed Leah instead (Genesis 29:25). He then puts in "another" seven years to finally wed his beloved and beautiful Rachel. We then learn (Genesis 29:31), "...the Lord saw that Leah was not loved." God then opened Leah's womb to bear many beautiful children, receiving the love she so desperately craved. As a child I felt very sorry for Leah and to this day I still do. Which is why the sorrow and pain I saw and felt in the eyes and countenance of these women touched my heart so deeply. Could the lack of love and acceptance be why the Bible called Leah the one with the tender eyes? - Genesis 29:17.
Nancy Friday, author of the book "The Power Of Beauty", Harper Collins Publishers - 1996, sums up best the reality of importance of looks in our lives and what most women I met in support group's sadly faced.
Friday writes on page 228:
"To enter adolescence without looks can be a reversal of such proportions that many women never recover from their sense of inadequacy. Looks may arrive ten years later; but the reflection is never believed. Beauty's tyranny holds us back because it has at its heart the denial of competition. Only in whispers, in secret with another woman who shares our resentment, can we vent our spleen."
It is this resentment that fuels the flames of jealousy. Feeling unable to compete with a pornography models looks, forbidden lust and appeal, many women remain in denial or co-dependency. This too yields feelings of depression and oppression as betrayed women struggle to survive. Those who end up divorcing their husbands often face financial difficulties, welfare, lack of housing, food, and basic necessities. Few financial support services exist for the wife of a sex addict. Children are left to suffer as their mother, now a single parent, has to work a full time job while struggling with child care cost and services. Financial support from their sex addict spouse is often unavailable, as the addict buys more pornography, prostitution services, goes to massage parlors and strip clubs. Suicide attempts and deaths are not uncommon.
I recall Ginger who struggled with obesity broadly proclaim when she met me, "These sex addict men have to be crazy, look at you...you are the fantasy!" While my physical looks provided her validation I replied in a factual tone, "They are crazy. And death and destruction is always Satan's plan (John 10:10)." My fellow survivor and friend Alice once stated, "Your every women's worst nightmare." When I told others including friend Cindy that I wanted to reach out to sex and codependent addicts with the message of Jesus Christ she started laughing and stated, "You come equipped!", in reference to my "natural assets."
PORN AND STRIPPER EVANGELISM
On occasion the subject of porn/stripper evangelism would be discussed, much to the sorrow of my precious sister's in Christ who had suffered betrayal bounds due to their husbands sexual addictions and promiscuity. Their opinions and views had been shaped by the popular media attention given to Heather Veitch (JC's Girls) and Annie Lobert (Hookers For Jesus), who advertises being a $500 - dollar a day escort.
Gloria responded, "My two children and I had to live out of our car for almost an entire month after my ex-husband had paid a high price prostitute over a thousand dollars during his monthly business trip to Washington." I wept within my soul, surrounded Gloria and began to pray for her. God saw Gloria through...but sadly many others become bitter, leaving God completely out of the equation. In despair some turn to other men to prove their self worth, repeating the same cycle of abuse. In yet another women's 12 step support group I attended, surprising to me survivors turned to other women, living a lesbian life-style. Men bashing was common.
During conversation with my survivor sisters in Christ, we often asked why Ms. Veitch and Ms. Lobert would reach out in love to the sex industry while abusing fellow sisters in Christ. One women, a petite size 2, who continued to lose weight due to her husbands sexual affairs and pornography addictions stated concerning sex industry workers, "It's like pouring salt into a wound, or a knife in your back. Don't they know how much their insensitivity hurts us? Are they not the least bit concerned about our hearts?"
WHILE I COMMEND THE SEX INDUSTRY OUTREACH MINISTRIES - IT IS MY PRAYER THAT THOSE WHO DO SO, WILL SHOW LIKE HUMILITY, COMPASSION, AND LOVE FOR "ALL" LOST AND HURTING VICTIMS INVOLVED
Pat spoke up and declared, "Well they won't listen to me! Heather calls women who look like me *"jealous and judgmental." I listened to the pain in the sound of their voice and sat in quiet contemplation thinking, "Ministry for our Lord and Savior should have love and concern for all lost and hurting souls." All the spouses of sex addicts who knew of Shelly Lubben's outreach to those in the pornography and the sex industry appreciated both her mission and sensitivity to all involved. Likewise, Susan Stafford and Dawn Reina's (both ex-prostitutes), outreach and ministry also shows a deep compassion and humility for not only those within the sex industry, but all those whose lives are touched by such grievous sin. After all, a commonality between most sex addict's, co-dependents, and those involved within the sex industry, is they most often all share a common link: "A past filled with pain."
* The 700 Club, Heather Veitch Rescuing JC's Girls, ( www.cbn.com/700club/Guests/.../Heather_Veitch032406) : "Heather says Christians should not be judgmental of people in the sex industry like they are people that are less than others."
"Heather remembers when she was first in church. There were rumors about her and there was a lot of emphasis on her past. She felt that there was a definite distance between her and others. Other women in the church were afraid and jealous of her and thought she would steal their husbands or boyfriends. There was an air of perfection she felt like she couldn't reach."
FROM SELLING SEX TO SAVING SOULS
It was then I began looking into the JC's Girls and Hooker's for Jesus ministries. I wasn't prepared for what I read. In a news report by WorldNetDaily, posted January 29Th, 2008, 5:00 pm Eastern titled, "FROM SELLING SEX TO SAVING SOULS - Ex-strippers invade Vegas to preach Jesus Christ": http://www.worldnetdaily.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=59944
"We don't preach to them, and we're not judgmental," Lobert, 40, told the newspaper. "We tell them that God loves them, even if they are hookers or strippers or porn stars. We offer help and advice - we do whatever we can for them"
"Annie Lobert, who used to be a $500 - a - day escort, and Heather Veitch, who worked as a high-dollar stripper, now wear T-shirts proclaiming themselves "Holy Hotties" and "Hookers for Jesus" as they spread the Gospel among their former co-workers."
"Some Christians think we are just cheap harlots and tell us so, but to be honest we really don't care," Lobert told the Telegraphy. "People used to go to Africa to be missionaries. Well, we're missionaries to the sex industry. That's our calling." added Veitch.
"The peroxide blonde's wearing contour-hugging outfits look little different from their former incarnations, the Telegraph reported..."
"A lot of guys pose for photos with us, and when they go home and look up what's on our T-shirts, they learn what we're about. We call it booby-trapping," said Lobert.
"The girls can relate to who we are and how we look in a way that they can't with some of the typical frumpy Christians who come here," Lobert said.
Adult Porn Star, Mary Carey Comments...
"We love what they do," said Mary Carey, an adult megastar. "They are there when the girls need them. I don't consider myself a sinner, I'm not harming anyone, and porn is really just free speech. But it's good that Annie and Heather are doing their thing."
YET ANOTHER PORN STAR TURNED CHRISTIAN GIVES HER TESTIMONY
I read another former Porn Star turned Christian who gives her testimony and outreach message stating much the same concerning the amount of money she made in the sex industry. Ms. XXXXX nonchalantly boasts, "I got completely nude on day two of the shoot. I replaced the snapshots I had used on my online portfolio originally with nude and topless photos. Within a matter of a couple of months I quit my office job of 5 years. I ended up traveling a lot and taking tons of photos in hopes of maybe making it into a magazine. The shots were nude but pretty tame."
In yet another interview Ms. XXXXX states, "I was offered more work and things progessed from there. My website took off, and at the time I quit, I was making $15,000 a month." I do not mention Ms. XXXXX by name due to the nude photos and porn movies still out and about on the Internet because of contract issues.
* "Matthew 12:36, "But I say to you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment."
* I take major issue with Mary Carey's statement. Perhaps the silicone in her breast has gone to her brain!
* As for Annie Lobert calling Christians "FRUMPY." I do not think I am frumpy. Nor, do I think that is a very nice thing to say about "fellow sister's" in Christ.
* Ms. XXXXX claims concerning her nude photos, "The shots were nude but pretty tame." No guilt or remorse in that statement. As for being tame? No nude photo of a person is tame. The ripple of sin's grasp is far reaching. Destroying families, and Daddy's little girl who states, "I want to be a porn star when I grow up, so then maybe my Daddy will notice me!"
* I do not understand why these former strippers and porn stars talk about all the money they made while working within the sex industry? Aside from hurting the wife, family, or girlfriend left at home, and promoting the sexual objectification of all of humanity, don't they realize by doing so they are offering up false hope and the glamourization of a prostitute or stripper's lifestyle to the young child and teens in distress? Who may be thinking, "Wow...I can make alot of money going into the sex industry! Then I don't have to listen to my parents nag anymore, and mind their @x$#@*! curfews." And don't think this just happens to young girls, as Billy Lind's testimony (also viewable on a CBN view) as a former male sex industry worker began when he was just a very young boy.
THE SEX INDUSTRY IS FAR FROM BEING GLAMOROUS!
Former Prostitute Susan Stafford Writes:- "During my time as a call girl, I was told I was considered "High Class" because I didn't work the streets and as long as I used condoms, I would be okay. My Clients were high end business men with professional jobs. Yet, I still caught Trichomoniasis, Chlamydia, Public Crab Lice, and Bacterial Vaginosis from my clients. Then, 15 years leater, Hepatitis C antibodies showed up AFTER I was long out of the business and happily married. Imagine the "lie" and then waking up one morning to the symptoms of these things? It's a horrifying wake up call!"
The damage pornography and the sex industry does to humanity and the animal kingdom is vast, all-encompassing, and horrific! I site the book "Pornography - A Human Tragedy, Tom Minnery, Editor, Christianity Today, Inc. Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois. Chapter One, Enough Is Enough, Dr. James Dobson:
Depictions of violence against women are related to violence against women in real life.
The use of pornography is most often progressive and addictive in nature.
Outlets for obscenity are magnets for sex-related crimes.
Organized crime controls more than 85 percent of all commercially produced pornography in America.
Pedophiles, who abuse an average of 366 boys and girls in a life time, typically use pornography to soften children's defenses against sexual exploitation.
Adult bookstores are often centers of disease and homosexual activity, derived from video and film booths. Pornography harms children and adolescents.
Dr. Dobson writes on page 36, "I will never forget a particular set of photographs shown to us at our first hearings in Washington, D.C. It focused on a cute, nine-year old boy who had fallen into the hands of a molester. In the first picture, the blond-haired lad was fully clothed and smiling at the camera. But in the second, he was nude, dead, and had a butcher knife protruding from his chest. My knees buckled and tears came to my eyes as hundreds of other photographs of children were presented showing pitiful boys and girls with their rectums enlarged to accommodate adult males and their vagina's penetrated with pencils, toothbrushes, and guns."
Not only are our children suffering from the effects of Sex addiction, and Internet pornography, so are our animal friends. After researching and writing an article concerning bestiality and zoophilia on my website, www.synthiaesther.com, I adopted five cats! And have written and created four - sex and pornography addiction ministry websites:
www.synthiaesther.com (Main Addiction Outreach and Ministry Website)
www.sexhisway.com (Christians addicted to sex, cybersex, and pornography)
www.synthiasex.com (Sex addiction cause and effect, in a short-story, easy to read format)
www.powersexxxx.com (Dominance and Submission - D/s - a life of bondage, pain, and control)
www.xxxhisway.com - Sex addicts making the news.
BESTIALITY - KILLING ANIMALS FOR SEX!
"I was so grieved by Nellie's story I have adopted and rescued cats!" - Synthia Esther.
Nellie, a black female cat was autopsied showing evidence of having been sodomized, with both her back legs and neck having been broken. She had massive abdominal injuries. Innocent Nellie was found with her rectum stretched 1.5 inches in size. Nellie is just one of many animals Barry Herbeck, 35, tortured and mutilated. He had a 20 year criminal history that include 1st degree sexual assault on his 6 year old step daughter. Herbert was sentenced on July 6, 1998, (offender # 109551), to twelve years, the longest sentence for animal cruelty in the United States.
One of the most common and frequent questions I received on MySpace and Facebook (please note: I am no longer provide counsel on these social media sites), came from the hearts of women whose boyfriends, or husbands, lust and idealization of other women, caused dire emotional pain, while being shunned, abused, belittled, disrespected and criticized! Their bodies were most often repulsive to their sex addicted mates, even after giving birth to their own children! Open their eyes - God. As the "Madonna - Whore Complex" reaks of satanic oppression and deception.
As for those women reaching out to others in the sex and pornography industry, and the so called Christian sex addicted men? Some of which are in ministry yet still viewing pornography and/or idealizing and lusting after women, girls, teens, children's outward appearance. I hope and pray "you" remember those who are tender eyed like Leah, and cry themselves to sleep, think of committing suicide due to your callous attitude and physical, emotional, and spiritual abuse. You will reap what you sow, as God takes care of His own. I intercede in prayer for you all, "Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do."
* "Far from being an isolated sin, the sex and pornography industry affects babies, toddlers, children, adults, and animals alike, in the most grevious crimes against humanity and the animal kingdom. Not to mention the increase in aborted babies due to unwanted pregnancies. The purpose of this article is to create both "knowledge and awareness," concerning the scope of such sin and destruction, and the never ending vicious cycle of "victims" within its wake. May we as Christians dedicate ourselves to praying for all involved, making a different resolve to get involved. God bless you." - Synthia Esther
Copyright - 2007-2015, Synthia Esther. All Rights Reserved.